Which books have you been reading? And what have you been doing to start working in yourself? Loving a WAS is exhausting - and can be very distracting - especially in terms of focusing your time and energy on taking care of yourself.
My STBX hasn't been diagnosed with BP - though my T and some doctors I know think that's what she's got - and she's done a lot of what you describe. She makes up stories about our past, tells people that I tried to strangle her when she was pregnant, says that I was an abusive husband - she even managed to convince me that I had an anger issue...though since we separated last Oct I've not felt any anger at all in my life...all of this by way of saying...stop putting so much of your energy into trying to diagnose/figure out what your W is doing..instead start finding out more about how to put that energy into you - and focusing on what you need to do for yourself.
You've got a long journey ahead...start preparing yourself by looking more into what you can do for you now...BTW...if your W is bipolar, I would say that using the DB methods can be very risky...and probably have to be adjusted some - at least in terms of interacting with your W - what the DB stuff does for you, however, remains the same...and that's what I think is most important - finding and rescuing yourself first.
