I guess the MC went OK.

I made my points, here are the main ones:
•Our first time swinging (Hell night)
•Pain of swinging outweighs benefits
•H’s cheating threat from summer
•My feeling like a free hooker
•Accusations of “c**kblocking”
•Status of profiles (H stated that his single male profile is still up, and our couple profiles are still out there but blank)
•Stated how my feelings/thoughts are discarded or minimized
•Recommendation from IC of NO medication needed
•H’s anger issues

H’s main points:
•Desire for more social interaction
•Treatment of my “anxiety” issues
•Desire to see me as more confident and a full partner
•Swinging is not a deal-breaker if we can get things back on track
•H’s attempts at constructive criticism of me

We go back a week from Tuesday, and we’re supposed to think about what kind of goals we want to achieve. The MC seemed nice enough. He thought there was a possibility to put things back together and we would have a better feel of the direction we want to go in after 2 or 3 months. He did note that I seemed to articulate my feelings pretty well today.

I don't know what to think. Do I really want to continue in this direction with MC? I do know that the only “c**kblocking” I’m doing now is H, and I think that will continue, I’m no where near ready to resume relations with him.


W42/H42/M20
S/19,D/17
On My Own: 11/28/09