I throw my hands up over the stupid massages and rubbing her hair. Stop rewarding her!!!! She doesn't deserve it!!!!
Just going back over the last few days. Yeah, I know. In those moments, feel like I can reach her. I know it's a false feeling. Crap. Seems like some sort of intimacy, connection, something would make a difference. In those moments, I think I'm making headway.
Yes, I hear you. I know it, I know it, I know it. No more.
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Detachment is getting YOU to a point of accepting, and being ok with, the worst possible scenario. It is NOT about you being cold or indifferent to your W. Be polite to her, and just be her friend right now. All the while, keep working on you being ok with D if she goes that route.
OK that's good. I'm getting there, if slowly. Honestly, I think I need to in order to function.
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Good. When I started reading this, I thought you were going to say you massaged her back. Good hold back.
I honestly felt like saying something like, too bad I can't help you out with that. But it would have been pointless.
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What did YOU want to do?
I want to go. I see it as a good opportunity to have fun, show good PMA, all that stuff. But I realize it's also feeding into her idea that we're all going to keep acting like a family.
I DON'T KNOW what's more effective - showing her what things can be like WITH me - or showing her what things can be like WITHOUT me. But - I think the real 180 would be for me to go and to be enthusiastic about it. Maybe I'm over-analyzing this.
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Your call, but I see this as a problem. She's admitted to you she had "dates" with this guy or at least thought about them. She tells you to trust her but she won't cut off contact. Why?
Even if nothing happened, she has told you something almost did that while not a PA was inappropriate. When things go south for her again, where do you think she's going to look?
Yeah I have a problem with this. She won't cut off contact, and she refuses to move out. So my choices are to make things so uncomfortable about this that she does move out (which I've almost gotten there), or focus on DBing for the time being.
