I'm new wondering if this works...

[BigJohn]

I can't help but feel like - hey, H moved out, H wants the lawyers - now he comes home and yells at ME for all the extra money this costs? Where is the responsibility for his part in getting us here too. I've been doing well doing my changes, taking responsiblity for my part in our problems, he is the one frankly who is hiding out and continuing the same old pattern of blow ups and blame.

Sigh. I want him home. I don't want all these thousands of dollars taken out of our savings. But this is his choice - so why the hell is he yelling at me? The way things were before, we could afford our lifestyle. This is just crazy. Help!

Personal accountability seems to be an early casualty for these WASs. My W has never accepted ANY accountability for her part in the breakdown of our MR. But when you think about it, it really isn't that surprising, since accepting personal accountability would inevitably lead to feelings of guilt which in turn would take the fun and excitement out of the "fantasy" A.