Just been catching up on your situation, your issues began around a similar time to me and I notice we are the same age.
Once you begin to detach you will start to feel a whole lot better in yourself and the anxiety and worry over talking to your H will to some degree lessen.
I have detached fairly well and this has worked to my advantage. You have to try and project the image of not a doormat anymore, easier said than done I know.
I have put my heart and soul into GALing and detaching, it isn't about not caring about your M it is just a case of realising that you can't control you H or what he does only you and you is what matters most.
Go out a buy a wardrobe of sexy underwear, I did and the killer heels and start dressing to make yourself feel good. As you said you started to realise that you felt sexy, fantastic you are on your way, you have made a huge step in feeling like a new woman. Well done!!
