The adventure chronicles

[AFWAW]

if she's serious she probably isn't going anywhere.

Here's where I believe she isn't serious. Everytime I have a little bit of doubt, it is erased by my wife's actions. She called to speak with my D and then asked to speak with me. I declined of course. When my D got off the phone she came to me and reported that her mom had said, it's sure funny that your Dad bascially begged me to come home and now that I'm ready to come home, he won't talk to me?

Well, I'd have to say there is a major lack of respect in the way she's behaving. She shouldn't be talking with my D about this anyway and to go so far as saying what she did indicates to me that nothing has changed and that she still wants to be controlling.

Obviously, if AFWAW isn't interested (or doesn't know) whether he wants to even explore a relationship with his wife again, then as he said, it would just be leading her on to even bend a little. That's what I was trying to figure out.

That's exactly why I haven't been communicating with her. I don't want to give her any false hope at this point.

AF, sorry to offend. Anyway, when I asked about how you'd feel in 3 months if she said she was going to move on, I didn't mean if you are together again. I was meaning, if you don't let her back in a bit, but instead keep telling her it's over, and she eventually moves on (as you have), will you feel you missed a chance?

You didn't offend, your post just brought out the worst in me. All those memories and that hurt came back to me in a flash and I wouldn't wish that on anyone certainly not my wife, however, I don't think I can put myself in the position that she wants me in. She is very controlling and I think until she realizes that she is controlling nothing will change, ever. I don't think I will have missed a chance either. Before I thought there was no way I could get another woman and I realize I was selling myself short. I want a woman that wants to be around me, that respects me for me, wants to spend time with me, enjoys me, loves me, etc. Judging from the way my wife is talking to my D, she doesn't respect me still. She may love me but I don't think she wants to be around me and I don't think I want to be around her at this point. Like I said, I'll probably think about up until I sign the papers but after that I'll be good. And I don't believe for a second that I'll be in that 20% group that remarries their spouse if I end up divorcing.