PS OK, maybe I'm hallucinating here I just found my wedding ring. It has been missing for over a year, and as you all know my husband has a huge temper so I was terrified to tell him. I ordered another one.
Needless to say, my H found out I bought a new ring and got furious anyhow.
But I just found the original one. I think this is a sign. I lost the ring back when I was the one crying to my friends every night that I was unhappy in my marriage and I was fantasizing about the emotional men in the theatre. It was when my S started school. I started realizing I was so upset about our M. And I lost my ring.
I was rearranging my bedroom for the new me - and lo and behold there it was.
Now I am too scared to tell my H that I found it lest I trigger his anger at lying about buying a new one. But, I am so glad I rediscovered my ring. I hope I can rediscover my M as well.
Today, trying to detach and handle the anxiety that being alone brings. Staying out of his way since he is in anger mode. Trying to love him from afar, and believe we can have a new and better M even with yesterday as such a horrible setback. God this is such a long haul.
