He did not tell her last night. He came over with the kids (I had night class) around 8:45, put them to bed, etc etc
Came out at 10. I told him he could come sit down (I was in living room) so he did. We made small talk/chit chat. Then he got up at 10:30 to leave. He said he was exhausted and hadn't slept much the night before...
So as he was getting up I asked him what about the phone call?
He stood on the stairs from 10:30-11:45. Told me he was tired and frustrated, that the night before I had asked him when he would do it and he got mad and said first thing in the morning (Wed). He asked me how I possibly thought he could do it in the morning, during work, and include me?
I told him I never thought he would actually do it in the morning I figured he was upset when he said it and would do it tonight. He said I should have told him that. Guess he thought I was upset with him for not doing it in the morning.
Then I asked him if she had still been contacting him, and he said "Yes." I asked if he had contacted her and he said, "No."
So I asked him what she was saying and he said, "She is freaking out"
I asked what she was saying and if it was things like "Don't you want me anymore" (BC that is something she would say) and he said, "Yeah that's what she wants to know"
And I said, "Well, DO you want her?"
And he said "NO!" in a very definitive voice.
He said he wasn't trying to be a jackass but he didn't want my sympathy or me trying to tell him how I understand that it is hard, etc etc. He said he really didn't want to talk about her with me at this time b/c it is a really tough subject.
Then he said he knew he had to tell her and he was positive that it was over and he didn't want to be with her anymore. But that there was never going to be a good time to actually tell her and he was not sure when he was going to do it.
Part of me wonders if he just hoped she would drop it and leave him alone so he wouldn't have to go through with it himself...
So anyway that was the extent of it, he said that every time he wants to try again I start pushing and pushing and want everything to happen immediately and he cannot deal with that. It seems he thought we would not talk about 'things' until we met with the people at the retreat. And I HAVE heard that supported on these boards, not to talk about the heavy stuff in the beginning, to save that stuff for the MC and try to rebuild the friendship part.
But the ow is one thing he does have to have handled before we would go on the retreat. And he knows that, he agreed to that.
