Funny you should say that but thats something I realised for myself today! Even though I thought I was loved by H, and apparently that wasnt the case especially after the ILYBINILWY speech. It suddenly dawned on me how unloved I felt too.
Last edited by Lost Rabbit; 09/10/0906:38 PM.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
Funny you should say that but thats something I realised for myself today! Even though I thought I was loved by H, and apparently that wasnt the case especially after the ILYBINILWY speech. It suddenly dawned on me how unloved I felt too.
I understand. But now, I see my goal as doing what I can to make my next M (which I still want to be with my W) what my "1st" M should have been.
You know Givingitmyall, those words really hit home. I now have come to realize my M is over as I thought I knew it. I shall overcome and learn from those mistakes of the first M and not repeat them.
Thanks for dropping in on me. After reading the text message I sent my WAW again today. I see it wasn't that bad .. your right. I will not let it happen again though.....I can't
Me 44 WAW 37 S 14 D 12
M 18 yrs T 20 yrs WAS 7-27-09 WAS #2 6-10-11
"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome."
I understand. But now, I see my goal as doing what I can to make my next M (which I still want to be with my W) what my "1st" M should have been.
Thats a good way of thinking about it, your right what ever I did have is gone, dead and buried, if there is to be a reconciling (a long road as I suspect OW) it will be two new people reconciling.
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
I have read where several LBH's feel the same as you've described and they say it is due to the detaching. On the other hand, if love is a choice, then a person can choose to love that person who they are M to.....either now or later. I think that not only have you discovered that you can be detached and even think about a life apart from your W, but probably those deep hurt feelings aren't ready to come out to be hit on again. I only hope that you won't be afraid to love again.....whoever that lucky person may be. I also believe that when you begin to see changes in your W, that will do so much to help your feelings toward her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I think stubborn is good in this case. When I am tempted, however fleetingly, to give in or give up I remind myself that not even my H can out-stubborn me in this.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
Well, another day. W sent me an email today at work for a bbq festival on Saturday with a message: What do you think or something like that. I responded, sounds great, how about we take the kids after S's football practice. She said that sounded good to her.
At the time, I did not think much about it. But, later, it dawned on me that this was something to note and that this was not "normal" given our current sitch. Strange that I have become used to the way we are right now.
W had her cake decorating class tonight. She's really getting very good. She showed me the cake she did tonight, and it was impressive. She worked on the cake while I did some work (which I hate doing after hours). She was chatty and jovial. It just seems like she is very comfortable around me and that the friendship part of our R has returned.
As usual, I headed back for bed first. Not to prove a point or have an affect on her, but because I wanted to relax in bed, post here, and go to sleep. Maybe one day she'll get tired of sleeping in the guest room. Until then, I will just keep plodding.
I feel like I'm somewhere around mile 16 of a marathon. I've accomplished a lot, but there's still work left.
