For clarification....when I say "Let him do the work" what I mean, is let him start this process. Let him start the filing. Let him pay for it. I'm not saying don't respond because yes, you will get worked and screwed. But the way this works is someone has to file and pay the filing fees. In my county that's now $400 plus. I'm not paying that. You shouldn't either, esp. if you aren't the one who wants it. If he files, you will have to be served. The process server will let the courts know you were given the documents. You will need a lawyer then. I spoke to a lawyer before being served. I did not pay a retainer until I that point. Why? Why waste the money until then?
My lawyer keeps stats. He says just more than 30% of his clients reconcile during this process. He says sometimes it's because the process really kicks them both in the ass as to how much this is going to suck. Sometimes, one of them realizes, "Oh, crap LBS was serious....we aren't going to be friends" and that scares them. He said there are millions of reasons, everyone's slightly different than the next guy's as to why the divorce process helps them reconcile. His opinion is the number one reason is the realization of who much this will cahnge life and just all around suck. The next biggest reaso, one party realizes the finacial kick they are going to be taking and decide to try things one more time....
For me, who cares why they stay? Just take that time and show each other that life can be better and a new marriage can be created.
So again, I"m not saying do nothing, I'm saying, let him start it. Then if the time really comes, then get a lawyer, pay the retainer and see where that takes you.
