Start by NOT responding to his texts for a while. No response unless it relates to children or someone is on the way to the hospital.
Go back just a few pages and see you were having a stronger day. This is a roller coaster. He has no right to your emotions or strength, he simply can't have that power over you. His choices have put the two of you where you are.
Be gentle with yourself - but go out and GAL.
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
Thank you Wifey for your kind words. Sometimes the 2x4s are gentle (at least yours are)...
I was told last night that I allowed him to take everything from me when he bailed...He took my self-respect, my self-esteem, I am not the person I used to be and I am an idiot for even wanting him to ever darken my door again... Comments like that really make me second guess every decision I make.
Going back into the cave again
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
I am sorry for the hijack. But I noticed on ryepatch's thread that you are familiar with bipolar. My W has been diagnosed with bipolar tendencies and I am confused by some of what has been going on. If you ever get some time, I would really appreciate you stopping by my thread (W can't break EA, dont know how to handle it). I think you may be able to give me some good insight into what may be going on. I really have doubts sometimes on how I handle things.
Question about depression that keeps returning. Could you take a look at my thread please?
"My actions are my only true belongings. I cannot escape the consequences of my actions. My actions are the ground upon which I stand." Thich Nhat Hanh
Thank you Wifey for your kind words. Sometimes the 2x4s are gentle (at least yours are)...
I was told last night that I allowed him to take everything from me when he bailed...He took my self-respect, my self-esteem, I am not the person I used to be and I am an idiot for even wanting him to ever darken my door again... Comments like that really make me second guess every decision I make.
Going back into the cave again
People say those things because they don't want to see you hurt. It is hard to hear those things, but you have to remember that the two people in a relationship actually know everything about the relationship. You are not an idiot.
Rhetorical question; what kind of person is mad that he took your self esteem yet can call you an idiot with a straight face?
Me 45, H 46, S 23, M 26, Together 30, Bomb 6-2-08, S 6-19-08; H left 12-29-08. H home 12-09, Still MLC in 2012! Me- I have my big girl panties on. Bring it.
I know I am not an idiot however I do rethink my decision when I start getting it from all sides...
Of course it would be much easier to just give up and move forward without him however that isn't how I feel so it isn't going to happen...
I did talk to H for a few minutes on Saturday and then again that night...He called the little one to talk to him and the minute our son got on the phone, he just started crying and asking his Dad when he would be home (His response was soon)and that he missed him and loved him...
A month ago I would have pacified H once I got back on the phone, I would have made excuses for the little ones' tears (over tired, hungry etc...)...That night I said nothing about it...I want him to think about the damage he is causing...All he said was he wasn't expecting that kind of reaction...I said I had to go and have a good night...
Had a good weekend, the sermon at Church yesterday - Letting Go/Letting God...Couldn't have come at a better time
(((Hugs))) to all!
May All Who Seek To Take My Life Be Put To Shame And Confusion; May All Who Desire My Ruin Be Turned Back In Disgrace. ~Psalm 40:14~
