What to do when H doesn't contact?

[The Wifey]

Stavyh, June, Puppy, Red and Wifey,

Can't thank you enough for all of your support and thanks for saying I should stay. Some days I just feel like giving up but I know that is normal going through all of this but I do know that God doesn't want me to so I just try to keep that in my head.

That is the benefit of the site, you always have soft shoulders here.

I know my H is depressed and I just keep hanging in there hoping he will get help and come to his senses but I don't know what to think or when that will ever happen.

Honey, this is not a site that advocates you just "hang in there" and they don't just magically "come to their senses." Right now is the time for you to grow. Work on you, don't just hang. Become the person you can depend on the most.

He doesn't pay any of his own bills (charges etc.), it's like he doesn't care about anything. He also gave truck back to the bank and still owes over 4 thousand. They repossessed his other car.

He's made a fine mess of things on that end.

But everyone hold onto your hats. He actually wrote our D12 and asked if she had a game yet (she cheers for football). Now in her last letter she told him when her first game was, but I guess like Red said, you are in a fog. So anyway he writes how much he loves and misses her and asks if she has a cell and if she does could she write back and give her # to him so he can call her since he knows that she always wanted one when she turns 13. Why won't he just give her his new cell # and she can call him from where ever? None of this makes sense. And when he called me about my S18 he blocked his # 2 weeks ago. He acts like I would be harassing him or something, which I never did. Don't get any of it. Now everyone remember he moved 5 minutes away from his father and step-mother in May and now is telling D12 in the letter that he had to move and gave her new address. Which now he is about 15 min. away from them and only 10 min. away from us.

No reason why he had to move just told her he had to move and the new place was ok. He makes plenty of money so that's not the reason either, as a matter of fact the place where he moved is more expensive and less room. In this letter he sounded very depressed even told D that if she didn't want to write back he would understand.

I'm happy for your D that he wrote, but ....

So I don't know if he is blaming himself and thinking I don't want him back now because of my S trying to take his own life or what.

Don't go there!!!!!! Do not mind-read and fill in the blanks of what you know. You have no way of knowing what he is thinking, nor do you necessarily want to know while he is still deep, deep into the fog.

So her first game is this Sat. so she wanted to hurry and write him back and let him know hoping that he will come to her game. She also put in her letter about my S saying that he wishes he would call or write to him too God Bless Her.

Please caution your D not to get her hopes up. He may already have plans, he might be hesitant to show up, any number of reasons that he might make it. If she gets her hopes up and he lets her down she will only be hurt more.

I can't thank all of you for your support. It means so much to me because I was really really down this weekend and the past couple of days and now I feel better knowing I have all of you.

You are on the roller coaster and it will take a long time to get to the smooth part of the ride. I often recommend people get a journal and write in it whenever they are in the grips of the bad times. In the journal you can say anything to the WA that you would like to say/scream at them. Put it all in there and get it out of your system.

This is a long road. Don't give up hope, cultivate it. Do that by working on you. Grow.