Thanks for the information. If I could make myself a little more clear. My description of what is going on may be a little off base. I would not say she is consumed with her looks, and she has not changed her look or clothing all that much, as she has always got her hair colored once a month and her work attire is standard. She is not one to go out on weekends or week days. She has work friends who are divorced and or separated who are much older than her feeding her information I do believe. She has had card making parties and I have seen these woman and I hope I am not to judgmental but on the outside they are unattractive large people who rely and support each other. She works with all of these girls and as she is 37 today has worked for the same company for 16 years they know each other very well. My wife is a giver to of her friends calling her laying a lot of their problems on her and she is more than willing to listen and give advice. As you might think leaving very little energy for me emotionally of physically. She has never instigated intimacy (never once in the last 12 years I have known her). As for me I have by no means been perfect in any way. I have been caught calling phone sex numbers, she feels they are affairs and this is a big issue. Like all men I have also been caught looking at inappropriate web sites, yet all of this activity I can be counted on one hand. She has a memory of a steel trap, nothing is forgotten ever. Over a two year period I have been nit picky about dinners laundry and a clean house, I put a lot of pressure on her in these categories. She hates conflict and suppresses everything. I on the other hand wear my emotion on my sleeve I feel something it comes out and I move on. I have gone to anger management class and continue to do so. OK my father beat the crap out of me and belittled me…. You get the idea. I have really stepped up to the plate on supporting around the house yet she says we have all these issues and they are irreparable. She refuses marriage counseling At this time in her life she has said more than once, I want my dad to help me buy a new town house, I have two daughters and I want two cats my DVD player and I will be happy. I on the other hand am a sports orientated person playing proficiently at one time in my life. I had my girls in skating and soccer, my wife thought that was too much and way over the top. Any advise on where her mind is would be appreciated. Looking for a direction to reconcile my marriage and gain my wife’s trust back. My anniversary is tomorrow would you suggest me buying anything or leave it be… Stitch
