hey peace, Thanks for the support, as always. I do think that the D will bring me closure on some level. Feeling very detached today - starting to look at H more objectively from an outsider's viewpoint, without all the unconditional love I usually feel for him. Even though there's been no news from him regarding the D since the other day, I'm feeling more and more ready to let him and the M go. It's been H's decision from the beginning to end our M. I will in no way try to stop him anymore. It feels terrible (yet liberating) to say that I have no interest in saving H from his mistakes. Maybe his proceeding with the D has given me permission to truly let go. I know that everything I've done has been for my kids and I wouldn't change a thing in how I raised them, but I can't help but feel a little resentful that H - after being there on a minimal basis for the past 3 years - now wants to be more involved with them. But then again, it's just like my H to take the easy way. I do all the hard work, he reaps the benefits.
That being said, I won't be surprised in the least if I once again turn to mush the next time H calls.
