What Attracts a Man to a Woman?

[givingitmyall]

June,

I think the attractiveness thing (at least for me) is the initial "eye catcher," that feeling that made me want to know more about her. But that doesn't last. It has to develop further from there.

Looks wear off, we all grow older. And that isn't what keeps either person interested in the M, or, if that is the base of the M, it WON'T last.

On the weight issue, I think that is relative. I haven't had to deal with this with my W, but I would think that if the weight got out of hand, the physical appearance would matter some, but what I think would be most important would be losing respect for her - if she doesn't respect herself enough to take care of herself, then how can I respect her.

I don't expect my W to be a runway model, but I do expect she will take care of herself within reason. I think she should expect the same from me.

[gucci loafer]

So it seems to boil down to attractiveness is the main criteria. Am I getting this right?

Not for me you aren't right...

INITIALLY for me it is the physical attraction......

Physcial attraction goes OUT the window if I don't like her personality... PERIOD...

Her physical attraction CAN increase though IF her personality starts me to see her in a different light. Some could have the best personality in history and still have no chance for me to gain interest......

Gaining too much weight CAN for sure cause the physical attraction to leave. How much? Don't know for sure in lbs, but I do know that I know it when I see it............ at that point personality does not trump looks for me. I still may like the personality and person, but lose the physical attraction...

Not what about weight? What if the gal is 30 lbs overweight? How about 50 lbs overweight?

lbs isn't the criteria.. I have to see it to know it.

What if the person you've been with- no longer wear's contacts b/c their eyes are too dry now, or makeup every other day as opposed to everyday.

Sarah Palin comes to mind on wearing glasses.. No issue with her...

makeup every other day??? not critical one way or the other..

I DO like to see the hair pulled up when her actual style has been down or long... The working around the house with the hair pulled up.... THAT is a huge turn on to me...

What if they, IDK, somehow get disfigured or get a hideously short haircut better suited for someone joining the army.

Why don't you just keep asking us until you get to the one where you ask us.."how about laying in a casket, makeup or no makeup?" Getting a bit side tracked here aren't we?

I guess what I am asking is... what if you wife is no longer a beauty? Then what?

Correct answer..... My wife will always be "my beauty".. after all..
I am sure I won't always be a Brad Pitt look alike either

[Greek]

So, I am very interested in this thread b/c this is a question I have pondered for some time.

So it seems to boil down to attractiveness is the main criteria. Am I getting this right?

Not what about weight? What if the gal is 30 lbs overweight? How about 50 lbs overweight?

What if the person you've been with- no longer wear's contacts b/c their eyes are too dry now, or makeup every other day as opposed to everyday. What if they, IDK, somehow get disfigured or get a hideously short haircut better suited for someone joining the army.

I guess what I am asking is... what if you wife is no longer a beauty? Then what?

(OK, I will admit, the last question applies to me...)

A woman who respects herself will take care of her appearance. Age happens. But staying on top of self-care (and weight is included here) is a self-respect issue IMHO. Even when I was a sahm, I was up every morning, dressed, looking my best (my best, not Turlington's best ) FOR ME. I might not have stepped one foot out of that house all day but I put my best foot forward for myself and my family.

So with aging comes appearance issues and in a long marriage, yeah...a woman won't be the stunning YOUNG beauty she once was. But what I read men writing here is that what's inside will drive a lot of what beauty comes through outside. It's not the weight. It's not the wrinkles or the grey. It's the care.

[hhh]

I like this thread and ideas here. While I totally get qualities that attract a man to a woman, what about re-attracting same man to same woman when there is SO much water under the bridge...ie, given all of our situations, and why we are here in first place. When there are hurtful things said and done over the years, it seems like looking good, sexiness, confidence, etc just don't seem to matter as much (but of course they are important for our own's sakes!)

[Ready2Change]

...what about re-attracting same man to same woman when there is SO much water under the bridge...

I believe it all boils down to seduction. People want what they can't have. People get bored with what they do have. Michelle gave us some tools. Distance yourself. Become mysterious. Let the other person see you change. Change your looks, your patterns, your behavior. Do things that make YOU happy. Be unpredictable. Be eccentric. Stop chasing. Wait for spouse to chase. Practice flirting with other people. Work on becoming the most desirable person you can. Project that when you are around spouse. Be the first to leave. Don't take anything personally. Be impeccable with your word. Do not make assumptions. And always do your best.....

[RedSoxFan]

You want to know what attracts a man to a woman. Just pulled this from another thread:

And another thing....yes I am going to fight the divorce. But I am in a very different position as I do have a child with this idiot I'm still in love with. (Good thing for him!)

I'm not going to go to the courthouse and sit there doing my own karaoke version of Pink's Don't leave me.....

But if the time comes, I will simply file for an extension per my state's law to allow us to reconcile during that time. My state's laws do lean toward encouraging reconciliation, despite being a no fault state.

Again, protect yourself but you can fight this to a certain extent. And for me, I want it on record that Mommy did everything she could to fight this D, if it were to ever happen. That's for me and my karma.

For any man with half his wits about him, that's hot! She know's who she is, she knows what she wants and she's not afraid to go after it.

[mindfull]

OK, one thing stuck out on this thread...

I am sure I won't always be a Brad Pitt look alike either

Won't always be, implies am now. Niiiiiiice! LOL

[RedSoxFan]

Sarah Palin comes to mind on wearing glasses.. No issue with her...

Aw man, you had me hook, line and sinker until that one!!

[aliveandkicking]

Shocking, wasn't it?

[RedSoxFan]

Oh yeah!!