Hi Lola, Your last post expresses something I have been thinking about recently. When I met my bf, I was crushed from my stbxh affair and our impending d. Then I survived a car accident that took 5 months of recovery. My bf became my lifeline. He solved every problem from my brokenheart to my broken bones. I thought of him as my knight in shining armor who rode up on a white horse to save me. I relied on his advice, I "needed" him to fix every thing wrong. Well, I've discovered my former self reliance. I realized I am fully competent to resolve my own problems. The dead car battery, being locked out of my apartment, a dead rat in the toilet, etc........ All these things I would have relied on him to fix. But I found out I can actually manage my life quite alright without him. I never needed him after all. So important to recognize and I hope your message will be meaningfull to people embarking on this terrible journy. You should post it in newbies section. Interesting that we reached this realization simultaneously. Of course, I'm now wondering if my over-reliance on Mark put too much pressure on him. He seemed to enjoy filling the role I made for him, but maybe it got to be too much. Over time I may have looked weak, unable to decide things without his advice. I relied on his good judgement far too much. I am a competent grown woman who's been through a lot. I am totally capable on my own. I need no man.
