She said: "You have never put me first! You always prioritized your family over me!" Well, I know that that is not true - I can think of numerous times when I ignored, cut off, angered, or otherwise pushed my family aside in order to be able to do what my W wanted to do, but I don't think she saw that. What she did see is her struggle to be accepted and the criticism that she was getting and the fact that when she came to me I would normally brush it off.
She didn't want me to ignore my family, she wanted me to visibly stand up for her against my family - and I wasn't doing that.
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Although I knew it would be uncomfortable, when we scheduled our Retrouvaille weekend I asked my parents to come here and care for the kids. No other choice - they are the only ones I felt comfortable asking.
Last night, Mrs. Thinker told me she had asked her sister to come and watch the kids instead. She said "The last thing I want is to have your parents here and see them right before we leave to go on the weekend, and then see them first thing when we get back."
Knowing the depths of the issue between her and my parents, I readily agreed. It will be more comfortable for all of us. I'll have to have another uncomfortable discussion with my parents in which I now "un-invite" them, but it's the right thing to do.
It tells me that she is still readily going to the weekend, AND is taking steps to make it a better experience. If she wasn't readily going, she would have just said "We can't go because I am not comfortable having your parents come here" and used that as the reason to cancel.
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8 days to Retrouvaille
Me 42, W 39, S8, S6, S2 M 11y, A & ILYBNILWY 11/08 Walking away from a bad situation.
