Swimming…. Do you have a therapist? You need one. They’re great and can really help you see thing more clearly. I think this board is a truly a marriage saver, but you need a professional you can speak with face to face. If you can, please do. Therapy wasn’t something I ever believed in, but I have a therapist now and I love her. She’s made a huge impact on me and mental well being. I now adore this woman. Swimming, have you ever stood up to him? Have you ever showed him your backbone? Have you ever let him know, I will not be treated this way? When my H left in November, he went to stay with a friend. In February I had enough and he royally pissed me off and I moved in with a friend, leaving the house and forcing his ass back in the house. (Where we live there are different laws about leaving the house….as long as you are still paying, you are still entitled, etc.) So I went on a vacation to see my friends and family back home. While I was packing for that, I was also moving my stuff back to my home. I told him when I got back I would be living there again. He said ok and was very agreeable. I never asked him if he was going to stay there too. So when I got back, we lived together for about two weeks, maybe longer. He said he was going to find his own place. When he did and got his parents to pay for it….he was planning to move on a Saturday, but first he went out for a round of golf in the morning. By the time he got home, I had my SUV packed full of his crap. He was dumbfounded. And now in hindsight, that’s when I think it first hit him, “Stronger isn’t afraid of a life without me.” Basically, I’m rambling but my point is this: Every time I showed H my backbone and let him know I wanted be treated a particular way, that’s when I got the most attention, respect and saw progress. Now, I don’t want you to agree to that legal separation. Did your lawyer inform you that all it takes to turn that legal separation into a divorce is a few adjustments and it’s done? I see the pro’s for legal separation, but I definitely see more cons to it. Just my opinion, don’t do it.
