Well, no sh*t Sherlock, when communication is crap or there are no-go areas, it's perfectly possible for two people to be experiencing two different marriages simultaneously.
It's like the thing in PM where the wife gets all bent because her husband doesn't verbally agree with her that this one night was this mind-shatteringly intimate experience. Schnarch says something like, "So you're not only allowing *him* to define *your* experience, you're letting him do it retroactively."
I don't get this expectation of emotional lockstep, really I don't. If that's what it's supposed to be like, maybe newleyweds should just flip a coin then donate one brain to science.
Hormone snarl ceases.
At least you're talking. I figure, the more you do that, assuming a reasonable level of honesty and lack of ad hom, it's going to be useful on some level.
BTW, I finally alt'd up, but I can't find my own profile with a search.
Apropos of absolutely nothing, I'm an admirer of Diotima di Mantinea, though. Especially as she appeared in The Princess Bride....
That Assumption of Good Will is good stuff. It's more .... (insert Captain Barbossa voice) ... guidelines. A counterweight to the Assumption of Bad Will we seem to acquire after the slings and arrows of outrageous LTRs. A counterspell against hair-trigger emotional reactivity.
Stop nattering, woman.....
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
