Ok, so update... finally got my key back yesterday. As the typical LDS, I felt nervous pushing it, like maybe I'm blowing our reconcilation, or pushing things back. But I did it nonetheless b/c H was using the key to walk in like he's back home, and without giving me any dough, so I was not confortable with him having the key at all. How I did it, kinda chicken way, but I did it. I told him that there are 2 options: one, if he is ready to come back home and be a husband he can have his key back, or two, if like he says he is working on things and need time, then I will lovingly hold on to thre key until he;s ready. First convo, H brushed off and said "V, let me make my decisions." I said ok, you need some time. Then, second convo, was in the midst of a argument when we threathened to move on, I asked what about the key. Then last night I asked again and he gave it. But he was not happy. We ended up arguing about the money he gives ow and he lost his tempter.
So, where we are. I'm feeling like H is pulled back again and I've been in pursue mode again. I'm struggling with whether this is time for us to be pursuing each other of still do nc. So I do nc off and on, some days I force myself not to call H. And for the guy who was desperate to save his marriage, he doesn't call me at times either. I'm still very unsure of where H and ow stand. I don't think he has pulled back. She still calls numerous times, although I know there is really nothing that will stop her from that. But H who came back saying that he wants to do things together and to make decisions together has says little things "let me handle my business" and I'm asking too many questions, and he's gradually pulling back from ow. So I'm still kinda unsure about this M. I know part of his change is that I'm changing back to to making may suggestions/demands, asking too many questions, and way too much R talk. I feel tired though of DB, when does it ever get ok to just be in a relationship and to be loving and loved back.
So, as of today I'm doing nc with him. He was very rude and disrepectful in our last argument and I feel like I don't want to deal with this crap anymore.
