Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Thinker]

Just had a very civil, but very blunt and to the point discussion with my parents.

It overall went well. Note to anyone who has to have a similar conversation: I highly recommend the book "Crucial Conversations"

I got them to vent out a list of their complaints - and predictably they started blaming everything on Mrs. Thinker

I then took personal responsibility for each of them - "Don't blame her for that. That is not her responsibility. I am your child, not her. If you are going to be angry, then be angry at me. I'm right here."

Regarding the infrequency of our visits, I told them the (painful to them) reasons that I am not comfortable visiting. Again "Don't blame this on Mrs. Thinker. This is MY choice."

I asked them to please, if you have any issues with me or my family, address them with me.

I think it was very uncomfortable for my Mom. She completely denied that any issues existed at all and then dropped off the call early. It ended as a direct, honest, man-to-man discussion with my Dad.

I don't think they are happy, but they understand. First time I have been this open and direct with them. I had to do this to clear the air.

I've now drawn the line.