Ah, SP--if only we could believe that! We need to feel beautiful. And in our (superficial, image-obsessed) culture, there's nothing more invisible and therefore irrelevant, than an aging, plump-ing woman. We're told we "let ourselves go"--which is a supreme insult. In fact, several folks told me after xH walked out that I need to focus on losing a few lbs because I've "let myself go." It is a ubiquitous message we receive, and the unconditional-ness of your message is a rarity. But it is appreciated!
Originally Posted By: ?
But I'm afraid -- and I use that adjective deliberately, "afraid" -- that @mindfull (you listening, friend?) thinks that by slimming down she's going to catch her H's eye.
okay, I haven't read everything, as I am WAY behind, but just being on this topic, I felt the need to add my cents.
I am not a guy, but the deal is, guys want a woman that looks good on the outside as well as the inside. It doesn't mean, (as sp already has said) that they need to look like Angelina jolie, it pretty much means that they take care of themselves, they are confident in themselves and they love themselves. It doesn't mean they are a size 3. However, if a woman is obese, I have to be honest and say that it is imperative that they lose weight, not for their husband, but for themselves. (mindblank, not saying your obese! just talkin in general) when we are overweight, that goes for men too, we are not taking care of ourselves in the best way that we can. this usually causes self complexes as well, can cause depression, whatever, or those caused the weight gain, but the cycle continues.
BUT, if a woman IS overweight, it doesn't mean she can't be confident, or not love herself. you must choose to do these things so that you can take pride in what God has given you and take care of your body in a precious way. It all fits together.
On the "you let yourself go" I don't agree with their wording, or the way they bring it up, but on average, it's true. Many of us mothers/wives end up putting ourselves at the bottom of the list. We put everyone and everything at the top and we DO let ourselves go because everyone and everything is more important than taking care of ourselves. so we think.
The biggest thing our men want to see is us be happy with ourselves and look like we are taking care of our bodies. If we are complaining about how our legs look big, but then we never do anything about it, and keep eating the same, they are going to be frustrated. Especially if they married us when we DID take care of ourselves and looked good for them. It's important for our men that we look good for them. It makes them feel important and loved when we look our best.
anyways, that was my 2 cents.
MB, did you try to initiate while I've been away? or is it just about the bathroom being locked? which has happened with me too, even since being together, so I don't think of it as a big deal, but sounds like you didn't either in some later posts.
Me 33 H 34 S9 S3 M 6 yrs (2gether 11 yrs) EA/PA 1/2006 DB 5/2006 H wants D 6/2006 H wants ME 8/2006 H "said" PA/EA over 8/2006 H erased OW off phone! 2/2007
"It is far better 2 choose humility & change oneself, than 2 wait in vain trying 2 chang someone else."
