I think it is just that I am extremely tired of this situation. It has been a year now since all of this began. I just keep wondering how long can she keep this up.
Kevin
Wrong question. The question is how long you will keep this up? You are the one who won't change for an adult amount of time and who measures progress with a smile from her or no fighting for a week...it's you who won't focus or stay the course. You are the one who weakens and gives in to your emotions. Sure she gave into temptation, but how is that so different? Morally aside, I mean. You both let emotions control you and you are acting like you did a year ago. So you are tired of HER behavior but hey, at least hers is new.....
Next time, and there will be a next time you want to do this, you must contemplate the LIKELY Outcome of your continued pleading since it has NOT ONCE WORKED for you. But it has often pushed her further away, so don't just hope for some vaguely ideal outcome which was probably so vague in your head anyhow, b/c you were not thinking so much as feeling, and needing and "thirstily reaching out for a drink from a well that says "I'M DRY!!..." don't go to dry wells when you are thirsty. That means when you feel needy, don't go to HER.
She apparently has to go forward in this path, for it to reveal itself as the wrong one. You have no control over that yet you wrote that note as if you'd get a 180' from her at this point. You are making it all so much worse for yourself b/c your neediness always, always comes first...(and you are one stubborn needy guy who still has not GAL...)
K4, you admitted a history of depression. It's showing. Get some help. If not now, when? What will it take?
J-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
