UPSIDE DOWN - still struggling, trying to detach

[Eskimo Nell]

Thanks so much Rabbit ... spent a dreadful night ... things buzzing around my brain obviously kept waking me. I didn't think that I was bothered about getting up and going today but probably am underneath all the other stuff.

Woke twice in the night and been up since 5am - don't have to leave until 7.15 this morning, hence I have had lots of time to drop in before I go!! Just wish that H knew that I was getting out there - he would be so pleased today.

Still, ready to send my email this evening. Was tempted to send it this morning but it may give him a clue if I'm sending email at 5.30am!! He will know that I don't enjoy that time of morning and, even if I was awake, it would be unlikely that I was on my computer! He would know that work was lurking. I want to be the one to tell him so that he gets the full picture of the temporary nature of the job.

Just trying to think of my response when new people start asking friendly things like "where does your husband work" and all that jazz ... have decided that probably to say little is the best at the moment and just answer honestly. I don't have to wash any dirty linen and nor do they need to know that we are S at the moment. H is very private and I am sure that the people in his office only knew because he had taken off his Wedding ring. Can't think about that now though.

So, the day is work and then home to send the email - then await the fall out! Oh - and whether or not to tell H that the job is full time ... he will expect a bigger contribution from me if he knows that. I don't want to be dishonest but I have to hold some back too, don't I?? I'm sure that honesty may well be the best policy though.