You can try and it is hard. They may not respond like a normal person and you have to be prepared for that. But sometimes they will surprise you and come through.
Even if it is one night. Then you have an opportunity to show appreciation, validation, and that is always good. I am always grateful now when H does anything that I might have taken for granted in the past. Mind you, I don't ask for much. My goals are for me. Not him. Ok I'm selfish. So any forward progress he makes is totally on him. I told him no more acting like a renter, no consequences or anything. Just a statement of how I perceived him. Did I expect him to stop acting like a renter? No. Not really. But he has surprised me and I'm glad. But it was his initiative, especially since I still went about like I have been, as if he is a renter. LOL. Who knows how long it will last. Took him about two weeks of processing before the first action, which was only two weeks ago. And we see what today has brought, but probably the longest stretch in the cycle of positive behavior so...
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
