First Piecing Thread

[Hope4us]

Thanks Ali. I know my W wants to forget it happened. I hear it in her voice when we talk now about other people we know who are having affairs. I hear it in her voice when we're discussing a friend of hers who is having martial difficulties and the possibility that this lady's H is having an affair.

And I really understand her wanting to forget it ever happened. Who wants to deal with something that horrible that they've done to another person who they now realize they love?

But all that is still about them. And that's what I struggle with. What about helping me through your betrayal? Like the guy said in the letter I posted, I'm here because I love her. Why else would I put myself through this? Not because I love pain, but because I want us to be whole and have the kind of marriage we BOTH want, but if she can't/won't deal with that, how can we have the intimacy in our marriage that is right there for the taking?

I recognize what I want to know now is a lot different from what it was even 6 months ago. But in order for me to make sense of the last two years of my life, there are some things I need to know.

I think I posted this on another thread, maybe even yours, but it's like an episode of the Twilight Zone where you wake up one morning and everything you KNEW to be true the last 24 years of your life is now in question. What you KNEW to be true, now you don't know. I'll tell you how F'd up it is, as a father, I now question if S21 is mine. I know S17 is, he looks just like me, but S21? He looks like W. So how do I know he's mine? Because she says so? Ummm...2 years ago she said OM was "just a friend" too.

This is what I struggle with. And I know I'm going to have to talk to W about it when the time is right, but if she continues to say "it doesn't matter", am I ok with that response?