Thank you so much for all your good wishes. It always amazes me when you all appear seemingly out of the ether to help or give encouragement to those that need it.
I'm much more positive today. I am still very worried about how I am going to pay my bills BUT I will cross each one of those bridges as I come across them. There is a lot of equity in the house so if I really struggle I will have to sell but it may enable me to buy a smaller house, albeit in not so nice an area, outright. We will see.
BM I didn't know you have been M before. I liked your idea of twirling round the living room. I'm actually thinking of having a 'life begins at 42.5' party in early October once the decree absolute is passed. Am thinking about hiring out a booth ina nightclub and dancing my heart away. It's just an idea at the moment I might feel diferently as the time approaches.
Take care everyone. Guess I need to decide whether to stay here or move onto surviving
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
Feel free to join us, though I think it should be called "Thriving". I just recently moved there myself even though the divorce was over a year ago. So many of my friends were still in Infidelity so I stayed on. Now most have pretty much stopped posting or have moved to Surviving.
Have you thought of getting a roommate? That might help with the bills and give you someone to chat and do things with if you are already acquainted. Just a thought. I will keep a lookout for you when you are ready.
hugs, kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
I had the same fears and worries after the divorce.
It is amazing how resourceful you will become and you may just surprise yourself financially.
This has made you that much stronger and smarter.
Me: 46 H:44 Together: 25 years Married: 20 years Separated: 11-30-06 Divorced 12-21-07 OW: EA began 2005 PA began end of 2006 3 children,20, 16, 6 ex asked for forgiveness 01/16/11
Thanks for looking out for me Katz. I have considered a lodger but I'm a bit wary what with having D14 with me half of the time. The best room to rent out would be hers and I couldn't do that to her. Besides the house is not in the best of shapes right now.
We will see what happens
Quote:
This has made you that much stronger and smarter.
Yes it has. What I'm worried about now is being too strong and not letting anyone new into my life in the future
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
First my boss told me she won't support me on the masters course I applied for. It starts on Monday. The only way I can do it now is in my own time. Ironic really cos I was only asking for time and so either way I wouldn't have been in work.
Secondly I'm in battle with the mortgage company. B/c I had to agree to pay STBXH and extra £10k they said I had to start the application process all over again. Now they want £330 just for someone to come and value my house. The house was already valued by an estate agent last week for nothing! They won't accept this valuation. Worse still the company they sub contract to for the valuation will only come out up until 3pm and I don't get home until at least 6pm. I've made an official complaint to the mortgage company but all it's doing is holding up the process and I only have until 9th November to complete otherwise I will have to pay a very large amount of interest.
to say I'm close to tears is an understatement.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
I am sorry to hear about your recent round of crud. Is there someone that can be at the house for you when they come by? Perhaps a friend or family member? I know it is always something but just think the sooner you get this done the sooner STBX will be out of your hair for real. Lots of hugs. You can do this Alison.
kat
Me-53(and learning!) S24, S21, D18, D17 Just keep swimming, Just keep swimming. Dory
