One of the things my C told me early on was to take control of the areas of my life over which I had control. One of those areas was my job. You have to take control of your work. The alternative is not pretty.
What I did initially (b/c I was a wreck for the first few weeks) was to make myself not think about the M issues. I gave myself seom time off from those problems and threw myself into my work. Get REALLY busy at the office. It will occupy your mind. You will have to make yourself do this at first.
As for the feet rubbing, cut yourself some slack. Just stop doing it. Recognize it for what it is...pursuit, plain and simple. I'm not slapping you around, I'm just trying to let you know I do not see this as helping you achieve your goal.
Eyes on the prize man. That means stopping the pursuit and working on you. Getting your work under control falls under "working on you." You have to have stability from some aspect of your life, and work is a great source for that.
