She is in a fantasy world right now. I heard many of the same things from my W:
-We will be friends and great parents -We can do this civily, "like adults" -The kids will be fine
I think you can convey a tough love image of I cannot stop you if you want a D, but I do not see us as friends in that process. I don't want that and I do not agree with your decision to D, but if that's what you need to be happy, I can't stop you, and I won't.
What she needs to hear is that you cannot stop her, but you will not assist in your own execution. She also needs to know this is HER decision, which she will have to own. She has not thought through all the logistics/consequences. Sometimes, when the WAS has to start dealing with the reality, that may bring them out of the fog.
And, no more pursuit. PERIOD. No foot rubs, touching, or doing solely for her. This is NOT helping you. It WILL drive her away.
Unfortunately, this is tough love time. In doing that, YOU are being the stronger one, and right now, you have to be.
