Huh, ya mean like my little tantrum of a couple of days ago!? Its keeping open enough to stay connected, but detached enough to protect yourself. You get the balance just right, then the cycle moves on again. But you know this of course. There is something about writing down what you are venting about helps put it in perspective. Its very very hard some days.
Yes being a complete person is the big part of it. For me, something that is sort of new, as you can see from my split personality post over on MW's thread. And it is something that is still kinda fragile. I also tend to get a little down when I realize what I have gone through within me to get here.
You know, I want to put it all in a book, but I have to wait for people to die before I could. I feel like I should be the one in crisis somedays, but you are right Mach, I'm here, and I've been there because I have always found the strength to do the carrying. No I have to carry me first and that is not something I am used to. Feeling better already though.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
All your posts today are good reminders for me and have been encouraging. I am just having a bad few days and have spent way too much time fighting back the tears. SR, you are right, just when you get the balance right the cycles move on and flip around and you have to readjust. I tend to sound more negative than I am feeling MOST days now here because I come to vent. No one else gets it. There is really no one else to vent to if I wanted. My H seemed for the past 2-3 weeks to be way more himself, now I am seeing more replay crap again that I thought had settled down so I am fastening my seatbelt.
Mach, you are right, we are the ones given this because we can handle it and be strong enough to pull the both of us through with kids in tow. I really never knew how strong I could be. Thanks for the link.
Cat, all this cycling, cyling, cycling is enough to make our heads spin and make us nauseous. What a ride.
Being a whole person . . . that has been something so valuable I have learned, mostly the realization that I am NOT an extension of my H and I am NOT responsible for his decisions. I am ME by myself.
We LBSs are absolutely going through our own midlife "transitions," looking at ourselves in the mirror long and hard and deciding what stays and what goes and what changes and what is important and what isn't. We are just doing it in a different way, without having a tantrum and throwing those we love under the bus.
I feel like I have time warped into the Tour de France and H is gunning for the yellow jersey! Of course I am the one hitching a ride in the drinks car along with my kids, but a wild ride!
We LBSs are absolutely going through our own midlife "transitions," looking at ourselves in the mirror long and hard and deciding what stays and what goes and what changes and what is important and what isn't. We are just doing it in a different way, without having a tantrum and throwing those we love under the bus.
TIF,
Print this out and staple it to your forehead....
Backward, so that you can read it daily.....
Look at this as a gift that THEY have given us too.....
