He starts in about the marriage being over let him. Listen to all of it. Take notes. Validate him.
If you can't do this, GET YOUR KEYS AND LEAVE THE HOUSE.
You are more in control than you want to give yourself credit for.
I agree with all you say, but he's got a drinking problem and I suspect much of what he says is not just typical WAS blather, but also alcohol-induced. I don't see any point to listening to drunk-speak, taking notes, or validating on that. I'd ask him to stop and if he doesn't then leave the house.
I think since your H sounds out of control, even more important for you to be in control and set boundaries and maintain them.
