Mindblank #5 - Livin' La Vida Limboland...

[mindfull]

So, instead of leaving, he decides he is staying, but we're not going back to the way we were.

I make some significant changes. I stop the spending. I stop the requests for vacations. I offer to move, etc...

BUT,

for almost ONE year following, I beg, I plead, I sob, I shower him w/cards, heartfelt letters, heartfelt emails, txts, etc... I try to talk to him. I make him things... CD's, scrap books, etc...

And, for almost ONE year, things escalate almost every weekend he's home, because I'm not just too much.

We have a major blow-up in November of last year. Tells me he's only still here because of the boys, and has no desire to be married to me anymore. I've just pushed him too much. This all started four years ago when we moved into this house.

The week after, I discover Divorce Remedy, and this site.

I read it, I make my goals, etc...

I tell him, via email, H, I understand I've done everything wrong to bring us closer together again. Here's what I'm going to do to make things better. If you'll give us through the beginnning of the year (our anniversary - late Jan), I will not approach you w/talk about our M, will not pressure you in any way, and will just ENJOY our family through the holidays.

Then, after the holidays, we can talk, and decide where we go from here.

It's worked, almost, brilliantly. We get along very good. We laugh, we smile, we connect every so often, and we parent famously.

YES, there have been suspicions on my part re: OW, BUT, nothing very concrete, at all, and upon snooping, nothing to show as any kind of proof... And, believe me, I've checked.

SO, Maybe SP is right! Maybe I've turned him Gay!

Sh*t!

Thank you for listening.