And you know, at this point, I for one have no idea what men find attractive! Don't mean to hijack, but perhaps several of us would appreciate some enlightenment.
I created a thread for us guys to share our thoughts:
AKA: "Ben the school teacher" --- Me:45, W:41 | Ds:10,12&14 | M:18, T:20 Me: MLC+PA+WAS+Separated 10/08 My Request to Reconcile Denied 7/09 W w/OM 6/09-11/09
I tend to agree with SP and Coach. My W is no drop-dead gorgeous model, but to me she is simply the most sensual and beautiful woman around.
Not that we would have like, violent objections to being subjected to looking at beautiful bodies you know? Sure, it's nice, but I won't want to come home to something like that if that was all there was ...
Me 42 W 39 Married: 11 Jan 1998, T: Since 1992 First Bomb: Sep 2007 Confirmed A/OM: 4 Nov 2007 Kids: D10, S5 Reconciled and together again after (alot of) time and heartbreak. 3rd kid, S, born 2 Jan 2010.
What tools! In fact, not just tools -- wedges, the simplest of tools.
yeah, they are zeros. No Kelvins, the absolute zeros.
M22,H45,W45 S21/18D12 Retain faith that you will prevail in the end, regardless of the difficulties and at the same time confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.
First off...Smiley..I like you...you're good, really good...
second....straight up and to the point...and mindfull you ain't gonna like what I have to say...
the simpliest reason he may have locked the door...
he may be done...and if he let's you take peeks, make comments, actaully touch him then he might be feeling he is leading you on on making you think that he wants to reconcile which would lead to guilt on his part...
see....it's pretty common..A WAS will separate themselves fromt he LBS over time..it will be gradual......you will notice they do things different..my ex did it..they all do..
1. they used to sit beside you on the couch, not you sit apart.. 2. they used to be in the same room with you, now they are in another room..off to themselves or with the kids. 3. they used to not be shy about their nakedness around you, now your lucky if you see them in their underwear.. 4. you used to share the bathroom when you got ready top go somewhere..now it's separate.. 5. you used to share the same bed, now you are sleeping apart
the list goes on and on..
the more you try to figure out the more you will becoem like a "dog chasing it's tail"
so stop...
Get a Life for yourself and stop worrying about the WAS..
Wow. WTF?! I go out and get my nails done, and I come back to this?
OK...
First of all, he didn't know I was coming back home while he was in the shower. I had told him I was walking with a friend, after drop off, and would be back about 9am. The friend was sick, and couldn't walk, so, I came home. He thought he was alone in the house (save for the possibility of the handyman - who has a key to the house). I'm not going to spin about that one.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
Second, so, I'm supposed to IGNORE all that is and is not being done around me, and GAL, stop worrying about LBS, blahblahblah... OK, fine. I do GAL like a mofo, BUT, YES, I DO worry about my M and my H because I happen to love him! Can't stop that.
Also, can't go on like this indefinitely.
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
He thought he was alone in the house (save for the possibility of the handyman - who has a key to the house).
You're right not to spin about it -- you ought not spin about anything, really. But I have to admit I do find this odd. When I'm alone in the house I don't lock the door. Hell, I don't even shut the door to the water closet. The only reason to lock a door is to ensure privacy. Maybe there was a naughty monkey that needed spanking or something....
