Swimming.... It's all script. You are not the first woman to hear this crap from her H and women have said the same crap to their H's too.
My H told me "I wish you could meet someone who could take care of you so I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore." I was so shocked, I stared laughing. When I was able to speak again, I told him "Be very very careful what you wish for. And truth be told, I've never needed anyone to take care of me except my mother."
At this point in time, could you kick his ungrateful ass out? Could you stand up to him and put his ass out? He deserves it. You don't deserve any of this.
The next time he attacks you as a mother....you put your hand up and you tell him "Attack me as a wife all you want. Say you never loved me, and continue to make up crazy lies in your head about our marriage. I won't stop you. BUT you will NOT say a bad word about me as a mother. I will stop you there. I will defend myself." Say nothing else. And stand firm on that line.
He starts in about the marriage being over let him. Listen to all of it. Take notes. Validate him.
If you can't do this, GET YOUR KEYS AND LEAVE THE HOUSE.
You are more in control than you want to give yourself credit for.
