Thanks guys...I know I am still trying to DB to the extent I can, for myself and also the M. I feel like I do need to stand my ground more in the weeks/months ahead, and am going to try to plan some fun activities and/or travels to look forward to. We've been together since 21 so the idea of starting over (haven't dated since college!) is definitely daunting. It's almost like, no one is perfect and at least I know his faults/flaws and I'd rather take them then jump out into the great unknown!

I think he's getting pressure from somewhere to move along and make this happen quickly... either from an OW(?) or, he is starting his new job mid-oct and I think also wants to fill out all his tax forms and everything as single for benefits/breaks etc. Just wants a clean start. He told me "oh I want to be there for you and help you" B.S. That's what my mom told him 2months ago when he called her, she said 'i hope you can be kind to each other in this process, and help each other out" He was just toting that line and said he was going to call my mom again this week to see how she was doing... I don't know why, it's like he's trying to be the nice guy to her. He hasn't been there for me one iota these past 8 months, anyway!

I think I will also call his fam this weekend to say 'goodbye' in a sense... the thing is I don't feel like I'm operating from fear anymore..I thought of calling them awhile ago, but it was more fear-based (to see if i could get him back). Now if I do call it would be more for me and b/c I think it's just a kind, right thing to do.

I am still sad, no doubt, but trying to grasp reality of it all. from a DB/marriage saving perspective, probably nothing more I can do at this point, I guess? Thoughts?

Thanks all...those on this site certainly know what this feels like, my thoughts are w you all as well too. While it's wonderful to hear success stories, I don't want to get false hopes up (and maybe in some way those hopes have prevented me from moving on). I want hope, but it's a double-edged sword, hope feels good but also can hold you back.. others feel this way ever?
Kindly,
Hilary