LOL! It's all very confusing for sure and the problem is that you're letting him drive. Why would you let the most emotionally challenged person in the relationship drive it? Kick him out of the seat.
He says he still loves you. He does.
Actions and lack of actions are what you are looking for/at.
He has not moved out. May never. He is not looking for new jobs. He may never. He got a passport....so what, I have one too and it's dusty.
You just need to duck here and take cover. What are you doing for you? What's your GALing?
You can NOT control him. You can only control you. So do things that make you happy. I know I know, doing things with him make you happy, right? Good, it should. But for now he may not want to. So how do you get him to change, since you can't really control him? Simple. You go out and do things for you that are fun and beneficial. Invite him but make it clear, you're going with or without him. Whether he's there or not does not change your plans.
I have another friend here where I live who DBed her divorce too. But she had no idea that's what she was doing, it was just instinct for her. She detached, she was loving during certain parts and a hard ass about other things. She said one thing she did, at first unknowingly, was she basically ignored him whenever he would act or talk about D or separating. She gave it the same attention she would give a child having a temper tantrum. She said eventually he knocked it all off.
I learned from her that they feed off of our reactions too.
