I'm glad you didn't erase that! It's good that you are working through that. You've been letting your negative self image hold you down for a long time, I'm glad to see you getting help to work through it, painful as it may be. As a little motivation, getting through this is going to make you a better example, and a better mother for Marc. I know how important that is to you.
And, mishka, virtual and real world evidence suggests that you picture of yourself isn't accurate, either! You've got lots of friends here, who think you have a lot to offer. And don't tell me we are not real.... because we are! Actually, I think in a lot of ways we know you better than real life people, you know? And, closer to home, CG clearly chooses to talk to you, and spend time with you. Don't hit the "yes, but" button. he chooses to do it. It may be that it's "just as a friend", but you know, there's no such thing as "just a friend". A friend is a big thing, there's no "just" to it!
You keep seeing that C! Some days it may be really hard, you may hate it. But when you come out the other side, you are going to be so much better prepared to take on the world, to care for MArc and your mother, and most importantly, yourself!
