"I can't answer that right now. I don't know what I want." Where does that go? how does that end it? It seems to just leave her hanging.
@Stronger has the right idea, I think; it's a time-buying mechanism, nothing more.
You and I are navigating similar waters. When my Walkaway got dumped by her backdoor man, the fog was blown out to sea; unfortunately, at her insistence and at my need to survive, I'd also set sail. (Okay, enough with the nautical metaphors.)
Now she wants to "see." To "explore." I suspect this is really a code-word for "I f*cked up and want back but I'm too prideful to admit it," but the bottom line for me is that I don't know if I want her. Not "want her back" -- that's right out. That Walkaway Woman is no longer attractive to me at all.
The person she's becoming might -- might -- be attractive to me. But that's a deeds-not-words scenario. Once burned; twice shy. And it works in reverse -- the person I'm becoming might -- might -- be attractive to her.
But that gives us four possible solutions to the game model: I'm attracted, she's not; she's attracted, I'm not; both attracted; neither attracted. And any of them seems equally likely, because we've had but 4 conversations or so in 7 months, so she's really something of a stranger to me.
So I'll 'explore.' But I'm not putting the rest of my life in suspended animation for that, and that's where the "I don't know" comes in. I just laid it on the line -- I will go to Fabulous MC#2. I will talk, engage, assess, evaluation, analyze, debate, and whatever else evolves in those sessions.
What I won't do is promise anything more than that. I won't commit to anything more than that. And (in my head) I will continue to ignore 50% of what you do and 100% of what you say because from my POV I don't know why you're doing/saying what you're doing/saying any more now than I knew why when you were Walking Away.
So caution is my mantra. Like President Woodrow Wilson, my policy is "watchful waiting."
