Back again, docs visit was good think he was impressed with my "stiff upper lip" and "boot applied to bottom" technique lol.. He was nice and made sure I had support and that I was to come see him at any time I needed too, bless him.
Unfortunately came out to a phone call from parents, a dear old friend whose lovely husband passed away last year is now in hospital and appears she will be joining her beloved soon.. These two really were in love all of their lives and she was devasted to be parted from him. Now I know the old H would want to know, and would probably have gone to the funeral with me, but not only do I not want to tell/talk to him, the last thing I want is him turning up at the funeral as all our elderly friends will be there and its not the place to announce your separation, although for me my parents and probably my sister will be there. I know S would want to go but he is unlikely to be able to get time off work. Pit of the stomach feeling just doesnt want to let me be this week.
Nell I totally agree on detaching, I can cope without knowing what he is doing as long as I know what is/is not affecting me. Like him not paying the mortgage, I need to know but dont want to contact him he has to come to me, or should I contact him I just dont know!
No one other than you Nell (which I am extremely grateful for) seems to pop by with ideas on ways to handle things, I reread a large chunk of DR last night but unless you are living/communicating with them on some level its quite hard to apply anything.. NC just seems to be letting him off the hook of his responsibilites!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
