BillM's new thread

[Deep]

Sara's right, from what you posted, I think Retrouvaille would help.

Just my personal opinion, I think a lot of what your W is going through could fall under the WAS category of "crying for help". I could relate that to a lot of what my W told her she went through. That the way things were going were just not good enough any more. There has to be more to life than a "stable" M. That there was so much she felt was wrong about the M over time but she accepted it as part of life. How could she feel something for someone else (she never thought it possible), therefore, we had lost our connection - leading to the classic "I love you but ...".

There are elements of MLC there, and OM, whether as a "special friend" or outright lover just helps so much to make things seem so much worse and distort history and reality. In my sitch, besides OM, W had friends who went through serious illness, which made the whole issue of living for the moment and feelings that life must have more to offer ever more pressing.

From what I've seen, you and her both need time. She needs to find herself and her balance again. You need to try and uuderstand and support this, while maintaining some boundaries.