Tomorrow is the day for the convo. with ow to end it.
We spoke on the phone tonight and he was crabby. Not at me, he was clear to say. Crabby about the impending call. And the fact that she has been calling and texting him over the weekend and today. He says he has not answered her calls or replied to her texts. And she is getting increasingly upset and wants to know why he isn't responding. She wants to see him.
This is upsetting him b/c it is upsetting her, I am sure.
I asked him what his actual plan/intentions were. I asked him if this was just a break he was taking while he saw whether or not we could make it work.
He said in no uncertain terms, this is not just a break. This is it. [I know, he said that before]
This time he said it is about me but also the other (several) factors why it would never work. Including the fact that his family would never accept her, he doesn't want to be involved with her son and doesn't want her involved with our kids, etc etc. So his general attitude was that he understood why he was doing it, knew it was necessary, but didn't mean he had to be happy about it. I don't like it but I get it.
I asked him a little about his job and he said he is just sick of the entire business but since he didn't have any other job options right now he would stick it out, he had no choice. But he didn't really want to talk about it tonight. It was pretty clear that the messages he has been getting the past couple days are really weighing on him.
And yes I know that I should not be worried about that. I can imagine the replies I will get "sucks to be her", "she shouldn't have gotten involved w/a married man in the first place", "she wasn't worried about your feelings", etc etc
I am not worried about her feelings. More that I get how much he is dreading the conversation. Although I did say to him, "I get that you are concerned about hurting her, but I wonder did the two of you ever get so concerned about how much what you were doing was hurting me". And he acknowledged that was a fair point.
OK off to bed. Tired and have a massive headache. This part sucks.
