Hope and heartache

[Deep]

As many would agree, there's no better place to get support and advice than on this forum.

I'll let those better in a position to advise you do so. Reading through your post, I sense some confusion. Sounds like you do really want your M to work out, yet at the same time, you seem to be (sorry to say this) a tad unstable and vaccilitating often.

Do epiphanies and awaking to realisation of the beauty of your M and things that you want to fix to be a better person, husband, father, and provider be happening so often? And with so many 180's but in the wrong direction? If I was your W, I would be confused too.

Try to be consistent in changing for the better perhaps?