A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Kettricken]

Very common among engineers and programmers; almost definitive (wink).

For us it's been a balancing act. I've come to recognize "work mode" and not expect much unless the house is literally on fire during that phase and not get my panties in a bunch when I'm ignored. He's become much more self-aware of how much is too much and the negative effects on both our relationship and his mental/emotional balance. And recognizing the point of diminishing returns with regard to the perseverating.

Sounds like you're pretty aware of the necessary monitoring and possible pitfalls.