I'd get yourself into marriage counseling now, even if he doesn't go with you. Going without for four years is absolutely and utterly absurd. Abusive. I'm not so sure if you shouldn't pack up and head out right now. Do you understand how he is holding you as an emotional hostage? You don't do that to one you profess to love. This is so wrong I can't even put my outrage into words... and I happen to be the LD in my marriage!
