A Little Epiphany - (and a newbie delurking)

[Kettricken]

Doesn't it include the sense of borderline obsession or a sense of incompleteness, almost akin to OCD? Not being able to or feeling safe to let things go mentally, even if (the logical) part of you wants to? (oh, you said some of that)

My h. has some symptoms of being mildly on the spectrum, so it's a concept we've dealt with, along with what he refers to as "hyperfocus" (not a good thing if it persists too long).

It is an unusual word. The fact that he used it might seem to indicate that he's wondering if he should be worried about it or not.

Don't soft-pedal your true observations. Now we're getting into some me-projecting, so be forewarned: Was he mentally and/or emotionally overleveraged before in your marriage, to the detriment of you and/or kidlet? Or temporally ditto? If it was a problem, and you both know it was a problem ... give him an honest answer to his feelers.

You've been giving him a lot of positive responses in the shape of not flipping out about gaming time, etc. He may be trying to suss out how far he can or should indulge in his personal pursuits going forward.

I don't think it serves you well, long term, to give an overly-accomodating response in pursuit of being the good little 180 soldier, tempting as it probably is.