Life; too bad we don't live long enough to figure it all out. Well, I took the step to move forward, that's just where I am at in my life and w/this situation. I decided not to involve myself in any capacity w/my W. As I stated, I was going to try to speak w/her concerning our sitch when she brought the tax papers by but she just put them in my car and left. When I got the tax papers I noticed that she only gave me the second page; the first page was absent, possibly b/c of a new address. She sent me a text that night saying "your welcome" and I just replied with thanks, but before I sent the text not sure why maybe emotions or small talk I revised the text and said "thanks but what was up w/the delivery method. Why are you hiding?" I think I grabbed back at the rope. She text me back saying "you're a silly man; I see your still on yourself. Why would I have to hide from you? I'm not going to offer evil for evil" Now this new slogan of hers has found its way to my phone a lot lately "I'm not going to offer evil for evil" I honestly just got sick of hearing/reading that from her so I responded not w/blame and just explained the definition of evil to her and also made a note that collectively she has never seen evil in me. I know no lectures, but the damage is done.
Now she starts calling every other day back to back, but never leaves a message. She also sends text; I respond to neither. Then last week on the 2nd my phone rings back to back 4 times at 7:30 in the morning, I thought it was something about my father but it's my W. She still leaves no messages and I have no intent on returning the call. Then I thought, something may have happened this is kind of early. So I decide to call her back after a few minutes. While I'm making the call I get a text message then she answers her phone. She says "Oh, I have to say something crazy for you to call" I don't know what she's talking about so I just ask what's up? She locked herself out of her car and wanted to know if I still had a key. I told her I did I would just have to look for it and I would call her back. Ironically, the same thing happened to me a month or so ago; she called me back almost 3 hours later. She calls me back around 20 minutes later and says don't worry about it she called the insurance provider and they do lockouts. We are still tied in that way. She carries me on her car insurance and I carry her on my health insurance. I have to get the D or wait until the next enrollment to take her off. But playing my position, I kept her on considering that she was laid off from work.
So before I leave for school I check the text message I received while calling my W. It was a text from her saying "I hope you never in life need anything else from me" I guess that what she was referring to as having to say something crazy for me to respond. Whatever the case, that really made me do some soul searching and actually had me in some low areas. Had I read that text, I know I would have never given her the time of day. I thought last night, not in a blame game but if I had to be truthful and honest w/myself I thought "My wife has probably been out on me more than once in our R" I just really sat and thought about all of the things that she's done and said over all these years just from that text. But she says that she is not going to offer evil for evil. No sweat, I'm still good, it just set me back trying to understand how she could even think to say something like that. Hell, I'm only kidding myself, that's been her history. She's left more than I can count and she's been saying things off the cuff like that here and there for the past few years. I don't need that. We live, we learn. That's what this process has been for me.
On another note, I was thinking I need a new GAL. Since this surgery on my hand, I have not been able to do much at all. But I have decided to spend some time learning to cook more/better. Never been much of a meat eater and even went w/out meat for 4 years. I have been doing chicken breast or turkey no red meat for at least 15 years. You have to eat to live. Besides, there should be a law against how much shake n bake I've used over this past year.
