Hope, I so very proud of you. Right direction for sure.
BUT you need to work on the improvements FOR YOU. If he likes them, that's just a side effect.
For example, I exercise. I do it FOR ME. H yesterday, at a football tailgate, looked around and said to me, in front of people "You're 34 years old. Most of these chicks are 20 somethings...you had a 9 pound baby.....You're hotter than all of them." All I could do was smile. But I exercise for me. I like it and it's good for me and I have horrible heart problems on my father's side of the family. H just benefits. So good for him but really good for ME.
I clean my house. I love it. It's not normal, but when I'm sad or in a bad mood, I love especially. It's therapy for me. H and S both benefit from my OC house cleaning, but again, it's for me.
I play tennis. It gets me out of the house and that's all for me and I can't think of who else benefits, purely for me. It's not a burden on H, but he does have to watch S while I'm playing and truth be told.....I don't care. (And to be honest, he supports me in my tennis 110%, so kudos to him for that.)
I got a lawyer, after I found H had filed. I was scared at first and it was surreal, but my contact with the lawyer was very empowering. H took us to that place and when my lawyer informed H's lawyer I had representation, the change in H was more respectful. Can't explain it but he knew I meant business.
You have to mean business, and you have to mean it for you....not what you hope will be your H's reaction. Do things for you to make you happy....if your H reacts to it well, then good. If he doesn't, it wasn't for him anyways. If you put expectations in his reactions you might be disappointed. A lot. So stop it and think about you.
Besides, is your H thinking about you the way he should be?
