Ok. Good stuff on seeing a doctor. Panic attacks are actually normal or at least I had them too when this all started.

You need to take a deep breath.
Can you forgive her?
Do you want to forgive her?

There is no point in moving forward until you can answer those questions.

M-34/H-35/S-4
Bomb-11-08
OW confirmed 12-08-OW ends 6-09
D finalized 4-10
Stronger=Happy