Good luck Oz hope you have had a fab time and got lots of great photos. Make sure you leave them out so H see's them, can just hear his thoughts now "my W the model"
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
The hair, makeup and the dresses all looked stunning, I bought one that I wore last night and brought that home with me, a stunning sequined dress.
Was certainly nervous when it was time for the first round of strutting my stuff, but the music was good and I was on the floor with a friend who is the life of the party and she had me dancing around in no time. Just waiting for photos to be emailed to me.
All the ladies were cheering and clapping so it made it so easy to be going out around the tables.
It was so much fun, I would do it again in a heartbeat. I came home with the biggest smile on my face and I had one of my own evening dresses on, one I hadn't been able to fit into for a long time.
When I arrived home, I found that H was still there, he hadn't packed up and moved out as he said he was, H came out to the car and carried my bag of shoes and new dress in, asked me if I bought something.
He went to bed as soon as we were inside, I strutted around for a bit before I got changed making sure he saw everything still with a very contented smile on my face.
Once in bed, he suddenly puts his arm around me - "what the" told me I looked beautiful tonight for which I thanked him. He started to ask questions about the night, did I have any photos, who did I get the flowers from, what did I have to do, endless questions.
He announced that he wants to work on "US". I just listened to him talk, I didn't say much as he has thrown me another curve ball and I wasn't ready for it. He told me he was going away on the weekend, I very light heartedly said that the weather was going to be good, so they should have fun on the water, he siged and said that now he didn't want to go, wanted to stay home and start to work on our R.
I went to sleep with his arms around me, snuggled up close, weird feeling as he has not done that in like 4-5 months.
Here is my problem now.
I expect that possibly today, the frighted deer will pull back a bit, I am ready for that and so I did not make any fuss or do any kind of pursuing or R talk this morning as I don't want to contribute to any pull back. He did give me a lingering kiss before he left.
The other thing is am I right in not bringing up any R talk and leaving it totally to him to now initiate any further talks. As I said I wasn't expecting this and am so not prepared, haven't had a chance to finish the DR book yet.
Also I found and I don't know if anyone else has found this but when he kissed me, I have always got that rush of excitement through my body, but this time nothing.
I do still love him dearly and with every bone in my body but I am wondering if detaching etc has something to do with this feeling I am hoping it does or is just that I have taken so much rejection from him, that the mind switches off to kind of protection mode so you don't get hurt again. This has really confused me.
All in all a very interesting night and I imagine some interesting days ahead.
But I tell you last night was the best GAL activity I have done so far.
Hi, Oz - wow, the cuddles are certainly going around, aren't they? Must be something in the water.
Yes - No R talks. Be vague, be busy, be GALing, be 'taking some time to think'. Let him pursue, and play hard to get.
Re: the kiss - perfectly normal, and yes, if we've been hurt for a long time or feel uncertain or unsafe, the body quashes those feelings and responses.
IMHO - use his away time to read up on Love Languages if you haven't already. Eventually, he could read the same. One of the possible reasons for no reaction to the kiss is an empty love tank.
The trouble with having an open mind is that people put things in it.
My sitch - Divorce Busted! http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1804137#Post1804137
I will try to find that book today is that it's full title?
Yes, I thought he should now be the one to pursue that is why I really made sure I didn't do any of that this morning.
I think you are right about the kiss and the feeling, hope the feelings I used to get return, maybe once I am sure I can let my guard down it will at the moment still trying to protect myself from more hurt and disappointment.
Also, when he said he now didn't want to go away on the weekend, I didn't go all gooey and say don't go, stay home with me, whereas the old Oz would have said that.
Sounds a fantastic evening with a great ending.. I think we all think that when they finally get around to kissing us again it should be fireworks, but we probably have held on so long waiting for it, that it feels weird and unnatural.. Fingers crossed he doesnt go too scared deer on you! But remember keep calm!
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W 47 H 47 M 24 T 30
Once lost but now found and happily married again!
