Correct. Working at it hasn't worked for you has it? You will tell her you " already tried to work at it, you two are just too different, you have both changed" etc. and ( quote the things I told you earlier as needed.)
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Let her realize she has emotionally lost her husband? Then let her do all the work? I am not sure.
She needs to "wonder" if she has lost you emotionally. (not let her wondering wasn't working for you was it?)
Let HER do all the work. You OBSERVE. If she is serious and wants to make your relationship mutual and to work, then she will do the same types of things the BS's who come on this site do. They read, they request counseling, they tell you they are sorry, they say they are making the changes for "me" and not for the relationship, they suddenly start keeping the house clean, don't argue, do the dishes, call you when they say they will and a host of other things. You just can't let her make promises without seeing a time frame of action from her.
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Would the crisis be better to flee and be chased or give her a roller coaster ride? "Look yes last night and yet say no to-day?
Either one seems to work well. When the WS has the BS convinced or wondering if they want out, the BS's on this site report back that it is a roller coaster either way. There are those that are still living in the same house together.. (Orich, Stuck for examples) and there are those who have had to move out or the WS move out.
The key is to hold back and allow HER to convince YOU why you should give it consideration. Each one of her reasons to work it out are met back with.. "I don't know, it hasn't been working. I did try, but you told me_____(fill in the blank on what she said) I am worried that it will get back to the same old thing between us".. etc. etc..
If she wants to work it out with you, then she should tell you what you want to hear.
